


A Flashy Mid-Life Crisis

by greenteeth



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, International Fanworks Day 2020, M/M, Meet-Cute, Peter has a taser, Pre-Relationship, Sort Of, Tony is impulsive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenteeth/pseuds/greenteeth
Summary: "Hey Kid, you legal?""I have a taser."
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 84
Kudos: 513





	A Flashy Mid-Life Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> Another shot at doing something tropey for International Fanworks Day 2020. This time fake dating. Un-beta'ed
> 
> 2020-06-01: Thanks everyone for your positive comments. I'm floored by the response I've had. Yes, I will be continuing this story. It's third in my queue to write.

"Hey Kid, you legal?" Peter glanced to the side hoping that the man in the hoodie and sunglasses wasn’t talking to him. The black sunglasses faced him dead on. 

"I have a taser." Peter replied as calmly as he could. 

The man glanced around at the deserted subway car. Peter winced a bit. 

“A rational approach to risk.” The man nodded. “I like that. But seriously kid, you legal?” 

Peter gauged the time before his stop and thought it was probably better to keep the guy talking rather than ignore him. “Why do you want to know?”

“I need to have a flashy mid-life crisis, and a barely legal boyfriend would fit the bill.” The man answered smoothly. 

Peter thought there was quite a bit to unpack there but what he said was “You’re planning your mid-life crisis?”

Peter could just see the man’s eyes dart around the subway car again before he answered. “I need to investigate something at my company, seriously shady stuff, and I need a distraction while I do it.” 

“And a … boyfriend will be distracting?” Peter wasn’t really following. 

“I need the executives at my company to think I’m distracted with” Peter felt the man eyeing him up and down. “A mid-life crisis.” 

Peter chewed his lip. “Have you considered a sudden urge to travel.”

“I need to stay in the city.” 

“Faking an illness.”

“Restricts my movements too much.” 

“Spiritual awakening.”

“Unbelievable.” 

The man waited a beat. “So…”

Peter sighed. “I’m legal.” 

“Great.”  
“I didn’t agree to anything.” Peter kept his tone firm. 

“I can get you anything you want. Name your price.” 

Peter huffed. “What does any college student want?”

“Sleep? the sweat release of death?” 

“Their student loans paid off.” 

“I can do that.” 

Peter pulled back struck by the absurdity of this conversation. The man seemed in earnest. Either he could do it easily or the lie was so big it eclipsed the very concept of truth. “If you pay off my loans and” he held up a finger “tuition for the next two years, I will be whatever kind of crisis you want.” 

The man’s lips twitched. 

“I mean, I’ll be a distraction. Wait, I’ll do the thing.” 

The man smirked. Digging into his hoodie pocket the man pulled out a business card with a number printed on it. “Call me once you’ve checked with the University’s financial office.” 

Peter took the card between two fingers. Up close he could see a barely there gray text that read ‘You know who I am’.

The train rocked to a stop and the man rose to get off. He turned around and pulled down his sunglasses enough to wink at Peter as he stepped out of the car. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I took Peter two days to call the number on the card. Monday he checked his student loan balance online. He thought it would ground him to reality after the surreal encounter the night before. It didn’t. He had gaped at the screen for a full minute before frantically clicking the refresh button for another minute. When the page loaded after the click spamming the result was the same. Zero balance with the rest of his bachelor's degree funded by a private donor. After thirty minutes of staring blankly at his wall he launched himself across the room for his phone. The following call with Mindy from Financial services told him the same thing as the website. It was all paid in full. Peter had taken another break to stare at the wall before being five minutes late for his chemistry class. 

Tuesday he ran his fingers over the lettering on the card and keyed the number into his phone. 

The phone rang and rang and rang. Peter counted ten rings before the person on the other end picked up. “‘Lo.”

“Hi, it’s Peter. Peter Parker. The guy from the train. I mean you must know that. Not that I’m the one who’s calling you. I mean you must know my name is Peter Parker. And wait, how did you know my name?”

“Slow down, kid.” The man from the train told him. 

Peter sucked in a deep breath. “Hi, it’s Peter. You paid off my loans. How did you do that? Why did you do that?” Peter knew he got shrill near the end there but really. 

“Yes, I did.” The man said, sounding smug. “We on for the whole mid-life crisis thing?”

“I..I..I” Peter stuttered. 

The man laughed. Not unkindly Peter thought distantly. “How about this, we meet up and talk about the terms?”

Peter nodded silently then swallowed and said “Sure.” 

“My place?” 

“I don’t..how about a coffee shop?” Peter hedged. 

“Sure, kid, I’ll text you the address.” There was a crackle and the line went silent. An instant later an address popped up on his screen. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

When Peter got to the coffee shop his mystery man was there in a corner wearing the same sunglasses and this time with his hair tucked under a Mets baseball cap. Peter slid into the high backed booth to face the man. 

“Do you want anything?” 

Peter eyed the man up and down not sure about this next bit. “Not yet. I need to ask you something.” The man made a go on gesture. “I talked to my friends about this.” Peter paused to gauge the man’s reaction to that information. He got the go on gesture again. “And we agreed there is something I need to ask you before this goes any further.” 

“Ok, shoot.”

“You’re not some sort of Faustian Demon, who’s going to offer me my greatest wishes, in exchange for my immortal soul?” 

The man went still. 

“Because that’s kind of the vibe I’m getting here. So, I really need you to tell me that you’re not a demon.” Peter continued. 

The man quivered, then shook, then broke out into a belly laugh. Once the man had laughed himself out and leaned more relaxedly against the back of the booth. “Keep those friends of yours, kid.” 

Peter smiled then bit him lip. “But...hmm..”

The man held up his fingers in a boy scouts salute. “I promise that I am not a demon. And that I’m not after your soul.” 

“Ok, right.” Peter relaxed a little. “A caramel latte then.”

The man looked toward the counter and gestured for the barista. Peter squinted. There was something familiar about that jawline. 

“You’re Tony Stark.” He yelped. 

Tony Stark half turned back toward him. “One, glad you finally notice. Two, keep it down. I’m incognito.” 

Peter sat back and let Tony freaking Stark order his caramel latte from the barista. 

Peter was staring. He knew he was staring. Tony Stark, Peter was having trouble not saying his whole name even in his head, shifted back and further like a boxer under Peter’s stare. 

“Kid, you ok? You breathing?”

Peter sucked in a breath. And blew it out when he couldn’t think of anything to say. 

“Seriously, I’m the one who’s supposed to be having a crisis here, not you.” 

“You’re going to investigate Stark Industries. You think someone at Stark Industries is doing what?” Peter stared off into space as the plot for every horror sci-fi movie he had ever watched crowded into this head. 

“Good focus. I’m not sure what’s going on. Turns out throwing one of the worlds best AI at the corporate books is great for finding out that the cash flow is weird but less so for finding out what’s actually going on.” 

“An AI? Is that based on your MARVIN prototype?” Peter wanted to know.

Tony Stark cocked his head at Peter and slowly said “Yes, where did you hear about that?”

“Empire State Robotics and Machine Learning journal.” 

The man’s smile turned a bit flirty. “You’re going to be perfect. So, you in?” 

Peter could hear that little voice in the back of his head telling him this was a bad idea. “Yes, Mr. Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> Should i continue this? I have some ideas for it.
> 
> 2020-06-01: I will be continuing this story. 😁


End file.
